


love is painful. and it's pretty intense, too.

by keiths



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, connor doesnt understand what love is exactly and markus wants to fix that asap, pining deviant connor, really gay markus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 20:06:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15251061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keiths/pseuds/keiths
Summary: Markus confesses his love for Connor and turns out Connor doesn't understand what the hell love is and he's genuinely concerned because apparently this 'love' is taking an emotional toll on this android and is he okay? But turns out that Connor just hasn't put much thought into his own feelings, because he might actually have this disease too.





	love is painful. and it's pretty intense, too.

**Author's Note:**

> its almost 5am and idk what this is it barely makes any sense I just really wanted to write a first kiss that doesn't go as planned at first okay just let me perish

“I love you.”

Connor’s databases dug deep, searching and analyzing and repeating the process until he had successfully constructed a reliable definition of the term ‘love’. His chocolate eyes stared back at Markus, whose face seemed to be growing bluer in tint from the thirium circulating towards his face for whatever reason- and Connor couldn’t quite understand why saying those three words had awakened such a vulnerable, desperate look on the other’s face...until the definition revealed itself.

love  
ləv/  
noun  
an intense feeling of deep affection.

Connor is no idiot, he’s heard the word before, exchanged easily between humans in situations both small and significant. He had heard the word come out of the Traci’s lips as her fingers intertwined with her lover’s. But hearing it directed towards Connor...from the leader of the revolution no less, it was quite odd. The key word ‘intense’ in the definition seemed to match whatever emotion Markus was emitting now. He did a quick scan of the android’s vitals, taking note of the quickened race of his thirium pump, the deep writhing of his emotions that swam in his mismatched eyes, and Connor felt a pang of guilt. Is he responsible for this? 

Connor has achieved a close friendship with the taller android in the past year of awakening equal rights for their people. He had grown drawn to Markus’ company, his aura, his air of importance and strength that he seemed to carry with him wherever he went. The RK800 only ever registered this kind of interest in the deviant as ‘professional attraction’. But whatever Markus was claiming to feel now in return...it appeared to be eating him alive.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Connor stated after long heartbeats of his LED glinting yellow, lips pulled down into an apologetic frown.

Markus looked stunned, nearly perplexed even with his response. He hesitated, growing very still, “What…?”

“It looks as if this feeling of ‘love’ you claim to have for me has proven to be...harmful towards your emotional state. I’m apologizing for our relationship’s toll on you.” Connor explained, eyes falling down towards the concrete beneath them, “I once envied human’s ability to love one another, but now I am seeing that it does nothing but elevate thirium levels and-”

“Connor.” Markus’ voice snagged his gaze right back up at him, “You’ve been a deviant for nearly a year now. You haven’t experienced love yet…” His eyes turned unexpectedly heartbroken, “Have you?”

His tone made Connor feel as though he was back to 2038, just now coming to terms with his own deviancy and betrayal of his duties, hugging himself and feeling more lost than ever. Markus had reached out to him then, encouraging him. Saving him. He felt like that now: lost and clueless and looking to the older android for help when his databases were failing him. Especially at this moment when he desperately searched through his logs, combing all of his recorded emotions for ‘love’. Nothing quite matched this definition...when he would look at Markus, he never felt an intense sensation. Quite the opposite, really. He felt at home, free, and everything in the category that he would define as ‘comfort’. 

“I can’t seem to pinpoint an emotion that somehow connects ‘intense physical conflict’ with ‘deep affection’, no.” Connor responded truthfully, brows rising slightly to crack his usual stoic expression, “Should I be worried?”

Markus came close, disregarding the android’s personal space so that he could gently grasp both of his forearms, holding him in his firm gaze. Connor always felt grounded when he was looking into his eyes like this, and up close it seemed to double in feeling, “Forget about what’s in your system. Tell me what you’re feeling right here, right now.”

The RK800 stared at him, unmoving. After a few moments he pulled on a smile, tilting his head, “Markus, I think it is a good time to remind you that I was designed to be a negotiator and a sturdy detective of the force. Certain…’sympathetic’ emotions may have been extracted from my software that even deviancy can’t artificially replicate.” He admitted, feeling a breeze come by and tousle the orange leaves overhead as well as Connor’s dark hair, “But if you must know how I feel at this moment, I feel very concerned as to why you’re staring at me like that.”

Markus’ smile he gave in return is sad, not quite reaching either the blue or green of his eyes. Connor doesn’t like it.

He quickly tries again, “I’m sorry, I-”

“Hush. Don’t apologize.” Markus murmurs, hands sliding from his forearms ever so slowly, “If you don’t understand love...will it help if I show it to you?” Before Connor could develop a response, the android conjoined their palms, skin waning to white. His touch is ginger, almost cautious before Connor receives the query to interface, and he accepts it without quite thinking, as if deep inside he wanted nothing more than to feel this feeling that Markus seemed to harbor towards him. Like his body was starving for it all, to experience it all, to understand it all.

Markus’ transfer came over him like a tidal wave, and Connor’s brown eyes fluttered shut as the images flashed in his mind altogether. He saw himself through the RK200’s set of eyes, his frame approaching deftly with the flock of free androids congregated behind him, the satisfaction and relief that he had felt from seeing Connor alive overcoming his body like a pulse. Then he saw more of their recent endeavors: meeting up after Connor’s shifts regularly to either stroll around Detroit in deep conversation or sit in the park simply watching the pigeons enjoy their day in the sunshine. Connor saw himself giggling with his arms spread, four pigeons perched on him to feast on the bread crumbs that Markus had sprinkled over his button-up with a laugh. He never knew someone could have such an emotional hiccup just from seeing another man grin with pigeon droppings on his sleeve, but here he was, feeling all of Markus’ feelings embrace him from all over. He saw so many other memories, felt everything that came with them. And Connor wondered when the painful intensity was going to hit his chest, but it never did. His artificial heart only took in feelings of comfort and longing to be near this particular person, which never felt painful in the slightest but instead it felt...good. Better than anything he’s ever felt.

One particular recollection stunned him into a frozen silence. It was when Markus had brought him to the art museum a couple of days ago, and the taller android had been watching Connor gaze with admiration at one of Carl’s marvellous displays before the brunette had turned to him, smiling as he mouthed words he couldn’t quite hear, but he sure as hell saw the prompt ‘Kiss Connor’ slip up in his peripheral. And it had stayed there for a good solid seconds before being dismissed, but it had *been* there. That was when Connor felt the heartbreak which was Markus realizing that he wanted to be with someone that he truly believed didn’t reciprocate his feelings.

Markus wanted to kiss him. Connor suddenly took in the rude awakening that he too has thought about carrying out the same action...many times. 

Perhaps this ‘love’ has been in his system after all.

The interface ended there, and Connor almost felt devastated at the loss, but his eyes had blinked open to meet with Markus’ face studying him carefully, watching his expression as if to read his thoughts through his face alone. Connor nearly believed he could as their hands pulled away, but their feet never took a step back, not in the slightest.

Connor was searching for the words but he didn’t need to.

“Judging by what that interface has just shown to me about you in return.” Markus’ voice was painfully soft, his kind eyes never gaining an edge, “I think your software has replicated ‘love’ just fine. You’re just a numbskull when it comes to recognizing it.”

The RK800 felt like his world had just shifted off its top. He had gone all of this time thinking he was missing this certain emotion as if it were a void place in a puzzle, as if he were broken and never to be truly deviant like Markus proved to be. All of his emotions towards this man were automatically dubbed as ‘professional’ and ‘nothing out of the ordinary’. He had genuinely wondered if there was a single person out there that wouldn’t want to kiss Markus, hold his hand, embrace him...but clearly he was just as Markus said: a numbskull.

Connor’s lips moved without thinking, the words coming out as if they’ve been waiting on his tongue for centuries.

“Markus, I think I’m in love with you.”

He didn’t know what to do, feeling stupid and so, so delayed with those words, but Markus just smiled for him again. And this time it reached his eyes and engulfed everything residing inside of them. Connor felt a hand ghost up to his chin, to his cheek, and then it was pulling him in, their lips pressing together in an embrace that nearly had the android melting into a puddle of the plastic that he was. But Markus held him tight and close, and Connor’s hands instinctively came up to wrap around his nape, tilting his jaw ever so slightly to take him in for what he was worth, every part that made Markus who he was, every part that made him who Connor loved. He couldn’t believe the emotion had been there all along, embodied and represented by this android alone. Oh, being a deviant was certainly proving to be educational. But now he was kissing Markus, so in his mind it couldn’t be too bad.

Markus pulled away after a tango of their tongues that left them both breathless despite neither of them exactly needing the oxygen, flush back to their faces in full force upon realizing what they had just done. But the RK200 just seemed amused at something, pad of his thumb brushing along the plush of Connor’s lower lip.

“Never say ‘sorry to hear that’ in response to a confession ever again.” Markus smirked in a tone that Connor quickly established as mock scolding, “You had me scared to death, you know that?”

Connor stifled a snort of a laugh, ducking his head with a tinge of guilt before Markus was tilting it right back up to lock their lips again, chuckles lost in each other’s welcoming presence.

[ Mission Accomplished: Love Markus ]


End file.
